Miracles that have kept on playing out itself, mightier-than-thou, whiter than the Saviour, more perfect than the Union, defying the political laws of loyalty, statesmanship, classified comments, to say the least, common place parlances of our 21st Century politicians. Even the kindergartens are well a well is heating up the 2015 steamed-microwaved Nigeria’s political enclosure.     

First, it was Mr. Jonathan, a man I never knew from Adam, even as a one-time Deputy-Governor of Bayelsa State. Fortuituously sooth-sayed by chance, he became the President of Nigeria as if to lead us to the promise land. I have no doubts that Nigerians gave him a try, even most political analysts and pundits gave their nod. Nigeria should rather be ruled by chance and fate than by a bloody military man came the chains of thought filtering our minds. So, our dear country became a guinea pig, a sample by trial and error. Then came Mr. Jonah after his landslide victory in the 2011 Presidential election, enthused to see himself as a President. Still nurturing scintillas of doubt, cross-checked his person- ‘You mean I am the President of Nigeria, President to the biggest nation in Africa?’. Seconded by his wife, Patience Jonathan,- ‘my husband, you are not dreaming’. His Vice, Mr. Sambo and the Tom Dick and Harry in his Ministry/Cabinet, and not to miss out his coven, PDPigs came a formidable team ever to beat in the history of Nigeria. In an attestation to his earlier promise made to the youths on his Victory Day after the elections, to empower us as we were the future of tomorrow, he amongst others made a first hand promise like an elder with hoary hairs on a bald head, nodding cheerfully at his village clans, at a Nigerian youth gathering in Ethiopia that his intentions are so pure,- 2015 is not my bus stop, I am not re-contesting. Poor WE couldn’t but marvel at a man of such wisdom and innocence likened to a pre-teened child. As a leader he has been and always will be in the world to come, ‘poor Nigerians’ never knew Mr. Jonah will sell down the rivers and turn against us. He only declared his intention to run for a second term as President. Probably petrified by the opposition party as to what they will say, if he threw up the towel, and fuelled by the inner caucus incendiaries to go for a 2nd term, to him did not mean much to Nigerians afterall, the whole political process from my emergence hirtherto was just a mere trial and error, even my promises. Infact, by 2015 I will launch Nigeria into the much talked about El-dorado. Then, a new dispensation, not based on trial and error as we politicians as usual trickily taught Nigerians to believe initially, but one hinged on transformation. Nigerians who were once wise, are even more ‘dull’ to know that these are all 2015 magic and joke of the century that will never repeat itself again. Mr. Jonathan, after about three years and something, and now, less than two months to the Presidential election, fortified his cabinet like no other, not even a cruise-ladened missles can withstand the impregnable and tolerant walls of his Cabinet, after he heave-ho so many ministers in his government probably those who spoke the truth which they took as anti government, alleging a reshufflement for effective governance, only furthered the healthy effects of his act by teaching pupil like, Mr.Reuben Abati amongst others, how to protect party’s interest to the detriment of the nation’s integrity. Mr. Abati, bred up from his youth, and trained in the art of muck- rakings, opened his mal-infected mouth (you know as the Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity, expect much) to issue insults that portends a misrepresentation of identity of the President, and integrity of the nation. Oh! Probably, he perfected his adroit in ribaldry after the order of Brother Obasanjo and our very much outspoken first lady, Dame Patience. Yet Mr. Jonah will not sack him as he is doing his job. So, Mr. Jonah wants Nigerians to emulate such persons. We are breeding leaders of tomorrow. Thank you, it’s still the trial and error subterfuge. Now we know! He feels comforted that by laying plans to construct railways that will link the whole country, and keep globe-trotting the world for unnecessary meetings, seeking world power cooperation, will assuage the recurrent deaths of Nigerians from bomb blasts. We know you will adopt as you have always done to pressing national issues the trial and error method as you thought you told us that those Chibok girls will be brought back. Mr. Jonah, you have to celebrate your Xmas and New year in grand style because we know it’s all trial and error. Let their disappearance not distraught you further from completing your tenure in peace, as you have always provened fiesty in matters of trial and error solutions. Thank you for repaying democracy with selfless service. We hope 2015 will be more selfless in your service to the nation if probably the same Nigerians who voted you previously, gives you the green light.                       
Second of all is Mr. Muhammamdu Buhari, already painted to be a saint on the strength of his military martinence and his dogged mettle and will he garnered as a one time Head of State in the military era and in a civilian era, Chairman of the Petroleum Technology Development Fund (PTDF), even when he betrayed Nigerians after the 2011 Presidential elections when he avowed not to contest come 2015, and a non-patriotic statement uttered, to make this nation ungovernable have only decided to take after Mr. Jonah and our elder statesboy, Mr. Obasanjo by adopting the Doctrine of Neccessity, the one that brought Oga Jonah into power as acting President after the death of President yar’ Adua, to likewise restore the palmerworms and cankerworms ailing the nation which to him the present dispensation has failed to address before it becomes too late. Our darling seventy-two (72) years old grampa Buhari who of course ought to have been counting the grey hairs already spotting out from his head chose rather to follow in the footsteps of late Muammar Gaddafi who took  over the reigns of government in the heady days of 1969 and would have stayed like forever like some in-Nigeria Robert Mugabes of our time had he not died in the year 2011, to contest the 2015 Presidential election at his tender age so he thinks and probably rule Nigeria till forever like the Mugabes of our time. Nigerians so believe that with Mr. Buhari and his running mate Mr. Yemi Osinbanjo who of course are both the Presidential and Vice flagbearers of the APC, and the incumbent President, Mr. Jonathan and his vice, Sambo of the PDP, and other National and State Houses of Assembly elections, 2015 elections will and cannot be like other previous elections held. I only await the best out of the psephological process.


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2 thoughts on “BETWEEN TWO PIGS

  1. This would have made a much better read if it was broken down into paragraphs.
    Current form was seemingly bulky to read.

    Great write up anyways.. I can only say,may the best of both have it


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