“I asked the goat for permission”   and the goat replied, “You Mayyyyyy”

A 20 year old man in Jigawa State was arrested on the allegations having sexual intercourse with a goat in the Baranda Forest environs of the Dutse Local Government of the State.  According to the accused, Mallam Kamisu Baranda, the goat was his, and he asked its permission before performing the act. (Hian!!! And the goat replied, “You MAYYYYYY!!”). The bleating of a goat is somewhat similar to the English verb “MAY”. Thus, for the guy mind, the goat bleated his acceptance and consent.

According to the Daily Times, the accused confessed that this was not the first time he had sex with animals inside the bush. He had done it over ten times but was never arrested. He regretted that if he knew he would be arrested, he would not had tried it because it was the reason why he would not make love to women in the area. He said animals satisfied his demands, that is why he is not after women the state just to avoid embarrassment but still he found himself ambushed by people in the area.

Ours is a country with a diversity of strange peculiarities. Our multitudinous population gives us the benefit of having a healthy number of people with all sort of unhealthy appetites. Of course, Section 42(2) of our hallowed 1999 Constitution provides that “No citizen of Nigeria shall be subjected to any disability or deprivation merely by reason of the circumstances of his birth.” Thus our Senators are being prosecuted on blog pages for passing a bill that discriminates against homosexuals in this country. According to pro-gay activists, homosexuals can’t help the way they are! (a la Ngozi Adichie Chimamanda).

For the sake of logical argument, let us assume that homosexuality is not a crime. It is merely an act of two consenting adults partaking in the pleasures of each other’s bodies (as God has commanded?) Unlike paedophilia where a sexual pervert takes advantage of a minor (without the consent of the minor’s guardian?). This was the argument put forth by @gidigenius ( a very distinguished blogger friend of mine. According to him, mutual consent between the two homosexual adults negates the presupposition of criminal tendency. Thus applying this principle to the story on ground, the accused, Mallam Kamisu Baranda explicitly stated in his statement of defence that he asked for the goat’s consent before embarking on his sodomic exercise. Therefore, it can be said that the accused, 20, being a legal non-minor, having validly sought and gotten approval from the goat, (also a legal non-minor); being a person whose sexual orientation has already been dictated to by virtue of the circumstances of his birth, and thus precluded against discrimination on the authority of Section 42(2) CFRN 1999 was within his rights to have had (lawful) carnal knowledge the goat.
Thus, as the pro-Gay activists are crying foul against the new Anti-Gay Bill, I also cry foul against the provisions of Section 214 of the Criminal Code Act which prohibits against unnatural offences: Any person who—
(1) has carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature; or(2) has carnal knowledge of an animal.
What is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Thus, if gays are advocating for equality, then those with a natural sexual affection for animals also have a prerogative at stake!

Even the mere thought of sleeping with an animal is revulsive to some gays. That is why the Criminal Code aptly tagged it an offence against morality. Thus, so also is homosexuality.

Many a times, we have to forgo a legal right to achieve societal balance. Morality has to be preserved for the sake of posterity. Didn’t somebody once preach that we should be moral for the sake of duty? And don’t we owe a duty of care to the unborn generation? We owe them an unspoken duty to ensure that they grow up in a family made up of father, mother and children, not father, father, and foster siblings. The very fact that our parents did not resort to artificial insemination or whatever to conceive us should bind us to ensure likewise to our children. It is the belief of this writer that discrimination for the greater good of morality should be mildly permitted. After all, every general rule has an exception.

What is good for the goose should be good for the gander. That is what equality is all about.

I am oluwanonso_Esq on Twitter.
Oya shoot me.

DISCLAIMER: This write-up has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of the writer, and is not intended to be used as a medium for the prosecution of any civil rights movement relating to sodomy or otherwise.



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