I know that majority of our readers are probably unmarried but I’m sure most if not all of us want to experience the thrills of marriage eventually. That said, I read a story on www.ofilispe 

aks.com (I say ‘I read’ a lot, don’t I? Lol) about a woman whose husband burnt her with hot iron and killed her son! That’s her in the picture.  Now, my question is, what on God’s green goodness could have made a living, breathing human do something so callous to someone they once claimed to love? Domestic violence is never right, under no circumstances is it justifiable to hit your spouse. Marriage is meant to be a partnership not a serf-baron relationship. Domestic violence, as unbelievable as it may seem, is a two-way thing.    
     Before you marry someone, you should have courted the person for a reasonable amount of time. Now, don’t get me wrong, every now and then there are people so dubious that you can’t tell their true characters even after months with them. There are also those who show you that they desperately need anger management, but us girls  tend to see only what we want to see. They say love is blind, there should probably be a saying like ‘Love has odeeshi’ (it does not enter) ; Because how else would you explain a guy hitting his girlfriend and the girl not dumping his sorry behind that very second! Ladies, do not be deceived, don’t tell yourself. ‘He was angry’, ‘he’s not like that’, ‘he apologised’. If he hit you once, whether ten years or twenty minutes from now, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN. Let me advise you to advise yourself. “Oh girl, pack your things and pick race!!!” Its better to leave with your organs intact than stick it out in the name of love and die.

          Sometimes, its not even easy to leave. He’s possessive, powerful and fearful. My dear you are  Superwoman! If anyone deserves happiness it’s you. You shouldn’t have to suffer beating. Slave trade was abolished centuries ago, nobody has the right to make you feel anything less than awesome. If he is crazy and doesn’t let you leave, use your brains, call a  family member or a friend and do not hesitate if someone wants to help you, don’t be brainwashed, Violence is not love!

        Guys, Beating your wife should be right next to poverty on your dreaded lifetime list. Women will nag, insult, shout, annoy; trust me you’re not perfect either but nothing she will do will ever make it ok to hit her. If you think you have a hot temper, channel it into making Nigeria better. If you want to hit something to ease out the frustration, my father’s mechanic or ‘engineer’ as he likes to call him, will appreciate the help with all the cars he needs to panel beat. Think of it this way, every guy adores his mum. How would you feel if you saw you dad or anyone hitting your mum? Rage, Instinct to protect……remember that picture when you feel like hitting your wife and flee before the devil uses you because the Judge that will try you won’t hear ‘ it was the devil’s handwork’ and if you just do it for sadistic pleasure. Ha! Then my friend, your gateman post is waiting for you in Hell oh!    
     All this would just be words if we don’t change our mentality. We gravitate towards the most handsome or most beautiful and the wealthiest partners, overlooking other traits and the thing is people show little signs of their true characters, but we choose to overlook them. Its a start to control your anger and promise not to hit your spouse but for those crazy people who do hit their wives, there is a way to help. Send an email to ngozi.ilondu@projectalertnig.org. Project Alert is an N.G.O concerned with domestic violence. There is a law in Lagos prohibiting domestic violence, let’s make some noise and increase the awareness. Send an email to the email address provided above asking what you can do to help. Don’t think this doesn’t concern you, your sister could be suffering for all you know. And remember, if you must hit something, my dad’s ‘engineer’ is in Lekki oooh!                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                    Erin Silver
                                                                                                                    @nky_otk  on twitterwww.ofilispeaks.com



  1. 'Us girls'. And I thot Nonso had done a genetic transplant. Lol. Good to know this is a guest writeup.
    I like the message. Sometimes, people find it hard not to believe that love doesn't conquer all, especially with domestic violence.


  2. Please review: 'He's possessive, powerful and fearful.' Fearful means one being full of fear. I don't think that's what you were trying to say there though.


  3. Please review: 'He's possessive, powerful and fearful.' Fearful means one who is full of fear. Don't think that's what you were trying to say tho.


  4. Really good piece that many more should read. Love the punchlines in the ProjectAlert photographs btw. #twothumbsup
    P.s: If every wife beater heeds the mechanic recommendation, the 'panel beater' occupation just might become a #1 career with largest employee ratio though.


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